03/08/2024
I am anti war
Is war inevitable?
We cannot stop wars. Not anytime soon.
Whether you like it or not, the machine will keep running.
So many people think they will try to change the system. I've known a handful of sergeants going officer because they wanted "more authority to change the system". Which they may or may not be able to do.
Me? I don't plan on "changing the system" or changing the world. You probably can't. But here is what I can do:
Accept the system for what it is, and learn to navigate it and play my cards. I can still take care of the troops within my domain, and do it well even though we're just specks of dust in the big picture.
What is the purpose of war?
Underneath the propaganda and talks about patriotism and "protecting our way of life", war is really just about resource acquisition. Yes, your friend got shot at for access to cheap bananas, coffee, and vanilla beans in South America. Yes, your legs got blown off for oil in the Middle East. Yes, we're knocking down little guys before they even did anything to us because we don't ever want them to become strong enough to challenge our self interests for their own self interests. That's the gist of war.
This is all so absurd. And yes, we ARE protecting your freedom, just in a long winded way that isn't obvious at face value.
I was at the recruiter's office for officers, and there were many bright eyed applicants.
War is hell and if most of these recruits knew how bad it can get, like REALLY knew, most of them wouldn't join. There is a Cormac McCarthy quote, "it was good that God kept the truths of life from the young as they were starting out or else they'd have no heart to start at all". Yeah. He's right. It also applies to the military.
So why am I going back? Isn't it ironic, a military officer who hates war.
The thing is, there will still be fresh blood being fed into the machine. Whether you agree with it or not. In feudal Japan, a young man from peasant stock would have a chance to rise above the farmfields of his forefathers if he joined the samurai and risked his life to fight for a lord.
Instead of saying "war bad!" from the comfort of ivory tower, I thought it would make more sense to join the hungry ones who enlist, and live among my own countrymen who have to go to war. You don't have to agree with what the country is going into war for, in order to serve well.
And I will live among them. To recreate with them, to struggle with them. To celebrate their joys and triumphs with them, to grieve with them in their sorrows. To give to them and open doors for them, while they teach me things I would not have known otherwise.
I try to become the person the troops need.
Of course I am afraid and am very aware of the risks. Of how bad it can get. But I do it anyway. The only way is through it, and instead of not starting at all, focus on winning and keeping everyone alive.
Why do so many veterans struggle after leaving?
Many service members fall apart after they leave service, and it’s not always due to combat trauma itself. Even members who never saw combat fall apart. Think of the environments they came from, and why they came to the military in the first place. The ones who fail to thrive after service are the ones who go back home and live the same that they did before. A lot of service members come from backgrounds like hillbilly elegy or gummo.
You have to take these kids and turn them it o an effective fighting force, you have to push them and instill discipline in them. But you also have to hold them together and cradle them in your hands so they don’t crumble. Many are very capable and very aggressive, but sensitive and fragile and needy at the same time. Most are at an age where they still need a lot of guidance and are seeking role models, even if they don’t know it, they are. Many are still gullible and easy cling to people who press the right buttons, which makes them exploitable.
They are used to people approaching them with ulterior motives, so they leverage whatever they can to get an advantage and will try all sorts of things to test your boundaries. So you have to establish very early where you both stand. Some will strongman you, some will flirt with you. It’s fine if they try this with me because I shut it down but then they try this with someone else who has less self control, who is older and with more rank, and these troops think they’re these Machiavellian masterminds when they don’t know what they are doing, and they get exploited or eaten alive.
Be strict and have strong boundaries as a group, but one on one approach them with more understanding and gentleness. Be patient, and be willing to spell things out for them. What's common sense and simple to you actually isn't common sense and intuitive for other people. I never think to my self "why are they so dumb and impulsive, why can't they just ___ ?" We underestimate how hard it is to comprehend things and think outside of what you know (your station in life).
Usually, people have a good reason for being the way they are. Humans are natural survivors and adaptive to their former environments. Accept the situation for what it is, meet people where they are, and work with it.
You will work with people who come from backgrounds where they have no reason to trust authority figures, based on their very real and very valid experiences of being disappointed. Many troops grew up in chaotic, unstable households and environments where the rules can turn on a dime. You have to earn their trust. Or someone who doesn't understand their own thoughts and emotions because they have been shut down by their caretakers whenever they tried to get their physical and emotional needs met, let alone understand the thoughts of others. They come from families where people talk with their fists, or if they showed even a slight hint of weakness, they would’ve been eaten alive - especially men. You will sometimes have people who never brushed their teeth before, or shared a toothbrush with their siblings. Or kids who wear the same underwear for a week because they are used to living without easy access to a washing machine. Imagine Gummo. Yeah, that's your fellow countrymen. Be prepared for the weakest links. If you can take care of the most troublesome troops, everything else takes care of itself. But, I am not worried about the troops, I am worried about the NCOs.
The fact is, even being willing to leave the environment and your community in search of other opportunities, even risking your life and leaving loved ones behind, is a sign of something unusual in itself. It's either desperation, trying to escape something, or having such a strong need of something. Everyone has different motives. It's almost like when women (sometimes men) get into sex work.
When civilians have contempt towards servicemembers, it's usually just thinly veiled contempt towards poor people. During the Vietnam war, it was the poor people who got drafted. People who were rich enough or had particular skillsets (like going to university and keeping high grades, which is easier with access to resources and privilege) didn't get drafted.
I don't like it when people use the term "white trash" with contempt. Because they are talking about some of the people I have served with. It's always white people saying it too. Nobody hates poor whites more than other white people.
Jobs I recommend before becoming officer, or taking advice from:
Sports team coach
Teacher especially in inner cities
Military chaplains, they know some shit and they are more than happy to share their insight
Be consistent and stick to your words. For many troops, you need to earn their trust to have natural authority over them. They need someone who is grounded and reliable. A lot of them come from chaotic backgrounds where they can't trust just anyone, and people can be lying. So stay in their peripheral and have a consistent, predictable character and behavior. If you say you will do something, do it. A good number of them will have chaotic lives outside the duty hours. They need people that can be an anchor to them they feel they can turn to. Be one of those people they can anchor onto, that's literally your job.
Good to have a few consistent, strictly enforced rules that are also easy to remember and understand, rather than a bunch of little rules you can't really enforce anyway. Boot camp already does a good job getting them in line.
Risk taking, and willingness to put their skin the game. This counts even during "peace time" (there is actually no such thing, we're always at war somewhere).
I have heard comments about me going back and commissionning. Is it really against my self interest? And, why do I care so much about the troops? Why do we care about anything? Why am I dealing with the loss of potential income, voluntarily binding myself into the strict rules of the military, putting myself at risk? I hear the confusion and contempt in the words of the people who disagree with my choices. It's not really something one understands unless they have served themselves.
Surprisingly, it was the women who were supportive and seemed to understand where I am coming from. The thing is, a man joins usually because he has to. A woman joins because she wants to. Women aren't bound by expectations set for men. Actually, not much is expected of women anyway. If it was just resources and opportunities she needed, she had more options than a man to get her needs met. Women usually have family members taking care of them, friends and strangers reaching out to help, she could've found a man to take care of her, she could've gotten into sex work which would've made way more money than enlisting and getting potentially blown up for $30k/year. You don't have to be a stunner to have these options. Men don't really have those options, they are on their own.
It's as if other men see me as a competition.
The real loss to me is the loss of Airmen troops. It was one or the other.